An Evening Home with Dad
I'm not going to call it baby-sitting, my wife would take issue with that but one night I was home with 3 of my kids. We were up in my bedroom watching TV. I was sitting on the bed and they were sitting between me and the TV in an arm-chair. I could only see the top halves of their heads over the back of the chair. We were watching an ultimate cage-fighting program. My daughter is 11. My son is 8.
Extenz
During the commercial break a commerical came on for a product called Extenz. Guaranteed to make "that certain part of the male anatomy bigger." I had seen this commercial often enough that I knew that the kids would not get what they are talking about and so I just let it go.
Halfway through the commercial I see my son's head cock to the side. I couldn't see his face, but if I could have it would have had a puzzled look on it. He looked at his sister and said, "what?" My daughter looked back, shrugged, and said, "I don't know."
He stood up and looked at me and thought for a few seconds then finally said, "I know what they're talking about! Their talking about their butt!" I said, "no...that's not what they are talking about."
Reckless Enlightenment
I said to him, "no....dude, a certain part of the male anatomy." He got the most curious look on his face and said, "Their wiener?" He laughed like only an 8 year-old boy can laugh and asked, "why would someone want their weiner to be bigger?"
Panic Born of Recklessness
What do you say to that? I started formulating a lie that they would buy when my son yelled out, "Oh, I KNOW!" Now I was really nervous and not a little curious. In absolute triumph he announced, "So you can stand farther away from the toilet when you pee!"
"That's right," I replied, "until then...please start standing a little closer."
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